Take it!
yes I am weak
maybe even a freak
step on me now
make me bow
take what is left
the final theft
pin me to the ground
to not make a sound
cause I am not me
no chance to be free
pull out my hair
leave me in the despair already there
see with your eyes
right through the lies
invisible to man
a human being to ban
22/4-09
Driftwood
who is there?
behind the name
who is there?
walking in shame
the face is it real?
the heart will it heal?
how will it continue?
how will it pursue?
in a life unknown to the soul
in days walking on hot coal
defeated by intrusive thinking
repeated until the final sinking
drowning in old tears
frowning in remembrance of fears
say no more
feel it into the core
misunderstood
floating away
driftwood
1/5-09
Silencium
without a single sound
you push me down onto the cold ground
a thick fog of silence filling the air
no mercy... you declare
friendship found and lost
pride is ruling... at all cost
voices reconciling singing a song of unison
how can I alone make that decision...?
I cannot
so here I sit on this frustrated spot
just to see you turn around and walk the other way
there is nothing... no... nothing more to say
5/5-09
Fading into silence
a loud scream of despair
cutting through the heavy air
the voice of a shrunken soul
deep pure pain playing the lead role
fading without resistance
the sound disappearing in the distance
speak no more...
throat sore
silence embedding this creation
in an invisible manifestation
18/5-09
My beloved daughter
you my beloved child
wrapped around my heart with a red love yarn
when your eye are crying and tears are flowing
my only wish is for your sadness to disappear
I want to hold you in my arms
be your safe harbour
when the wind blows cold and you freeze
we crawl up close to each other and snuggle
you see what others have told you being the truth
but I - your mother - know the real meaning
to get to know you is like the depths of many waters
mysterious and exciting like the starry night
all can not see what you own inside
in your beautiful mind of a child
but I know your heartbeat
and I love you every day
19/5-09
Held by love
crawling on the dirty ground
with a voice giving no sound
still your love holds me here
wanders with me through my fear
22/5-09
Different sides of the story
one wintry chilly night
two sunshiny days in might
cold bitter winds blowing
the gentle breeze growing
a face freezing to ice
cheeks caressed by the sunrise
one heart crying in misery absolute
beating warm calm blood - life's root
a foot stepping on burning coal
dipping toes in the summer lake's bowl
hands shivering in pockets tight
fingers touching dew on a flower's delight
28/5-09
Last night
the darkness has fallen
the moon is half
no wind is blowing
trees are still
leaves are silent
the air is warm in calmness
I breathe it all in
embrace it to soothe my soul
1/6-09
Heavy rain
the heavy mercury rain
has returned again
drops of metal
pure murder to the flower petal
perforating the textile roof
destroying all proof
colours to fade in an instant
as the silvery cloud turns resistant
drowning layer of thick liquid
leaving the sky jaded
5/8-09
The Pot
hmmm... why is it so?
making the anxiety grow
if only I could
still... I wonder if I would
lost and searching my way
fragile pot made of clay
struck by time and grief
longing for eternal relief
bits and pieces to pick
stomach twisting and turning sick
only echoes of emptiness
as I undress
exposed air in a pot
does not really mean a lot
imploding... no time to shout
merciless wipe-out
19/8-09
Due to unfair feelings of guilt
sometimes life is way too cruel
not playing by any loving rule
those gentle and sensitive
end up with nothing more to give
sucked out all their power
once upon a time a precious flower
now fading away much too fast
because of memories from the past
as the ones being left behind
they sit frozen in sorrow and confusion combined
30/8-09
The Dagger
cutting deep
makes eyes weep
a blade
no shade
merciless
distress
holding so dear
wishing to erase the fear
no solution
my present conclusion
heart separated from the flesh
caught in this merciless mesh
bleeding wound on body weak
no words left to speak
a precious valuable gift
the boy adrift
5/9-09
Destroyed
magic wand
cut the bond
can't you see
leave me be
power drain
drive insane
hit and run
dark sun
had enough
handcuff
7/9-09
Embracing colours
the golden carriage carries me home
strong arms of love embrace my soul
lost in the wilderness I feel no fear
in our world there is no solitude
my ears knows them well
the sounds of your gentle footsteps
darkness might fall much too fast
I reach out and search for your hand
skin to skin… fingers intertwined
the rays of light roams in our hearts
black and white turns into sparkling colours
the rainbow high in the sky gave them to us
reflecting onto the waves of love
slowly caressing the ocean wide
12/9-09
Too much pressure!
vintage pressure cooker
water and beans
garlic and bay leaf
thyme or oregano
lid on!
heat and pressure
pressure and heat
more
more
more
to the core
even more
BOOM!
////////////
///////////
pieces of metal in the air
no more pressure there
pressure cooker's bad mood
gone is all the food
gone
gone
gone
15/9-09
In vain
with tears in my blue eyes
no one to hear my smothered cries
lonely I sit in the faded light
as sadness wells over me in cruel delight
breathing anxiety with a tight chest
patience put to a merciless test
longing for a gentle touch upon my hand
arms around my waist in The Soothing land
dreamy thoughts rules my mind
escaping... - once again caught blind
25/9-09
I do it all for you
you hurt me with your words of ice
your fist and open hand
I love you so - but to what price?!
I know you do not understand
I work hard to see you through
the 'thank you' is a cruel fight
I look into your eyes of deep blue
trying to find the hidden light
drained beyond belief
crawling on my knees in despair
heart in tremendous pain and grief
lungs gasping for soothing air
3/10-09
The Drive
the highway
is not my way
my fears pitch black
no turning back
wheels floating like on air
I try to steer in despair
the wide angle is closing in
is there even a chance to win
get back home in one piece
or end up in a pool of burning fuel and grease
no real control over this wobbly car of steel
fingers holding on tight to the steering wheel
5/10-09
Cupped hands
as daylight fades away into the tunnel darkness
and life is seen in a different light
I wake up to see glittering stars and a shining moon
night time is here to hold me tight in its strong arms
I see things I did not see before
hear the things hidden in a day of noise
the portal of my heart with iron lock and a missing key
you are the one to open this gate - with words of a gentle kind
to find chambers filled with dreams and hope
love and passion in a river running wild
you cup your hands to have and to hold
my dear - drink it with thirst to ease your sadness
united in the hours when others sleep
our fingers intertwined beneath a moonlit sky
13/10-09
All over the place
illusion and a hasty conclusion
a vision not to be seen
eyes staring at a computer screen
impression and a crazy dream
a transformation of light
tossing and turning through out the night
distraction and a losing battle
a warrior drowning in sorrow
broken is his last arrow
relaxation and a crescendo
a combination without control
scattered fractions in a split role
14/10-09
….The End….
a sad life story
far from glory
send me down
take off my crown
lead me through the door
to feel no more
16/10-09
Autumn soul
cry but shed no tear
laugh at the haunting fear
run but wander in peace
every moment to seize
love but may your heart be still
warmth descending in autumn chill
live but breathe no more
recall fled days from before
lift your vision to view
bright rays of light shining through
17/10-09
The Book of Days
an empty book with pages blank
a pen to write upon paper white
exciting future in days of joy
new life with inspiring goals
a sunrise bright and clear
a breeze over Summer Cloud Bay
fresh hours of a day in sun
smiling faces to lead the way
a book with words gone missing
a pen broken beyond repair
unpredictable events around next corner
faded colours in shades of black
a morning rainy and gray
a furious storm whipping the ocean wild
destructive times in hail
crying eyes to drown the soul
24/10-09
River wild
a wild raging river of thoughts
faster and faster towards disaster
hitting rocks and bottom gravel
traffic jam as they all crash into the trees
wounded neurons in bleeding state
furiously moving on in rapid speed
undercurrents mercilessly dragging down
still the destination is set out and clear
forced out into the deep wide ocean
disappearing in the great waters
losing sense and mind as they both drown
4/11-09
Backdraft
my inner song has lost its tone
nothing left but a smothered moan
anxiety digging a deep hole into my chest
leaving me lost with no chance to rest
my airways collapsing tight and tense
no turning back when nothing makes any sense
eyes moving from side to side
trying to find the door to escape this tide
a defeating fire waiting to eat through my mind
want to open my mouth to scream and leave it all behind
would cause a furious backdraft… and then?!...
burning flames thrown in my face all over again
6/11-09
The Waves of Love
precious love deep as the ocean wide
through the high and lows of the tide
as the sun rises in the early morn
the moon shows its face after the afternoon storm
many a time love holds it all together
to ride upon waves of foul weather
the sea reunites with the safe shore
natures way to love and adore
10/11-09
Fragile
sometimes eyes fail to see what lies within
the invisible tears dripping from a trembling chin
a soul crying with no place to go
staring silently through a broken window
distorted images of a landscape in grief
autumn rain covering every leaf
nature's time to be put to rest
a heart beating inside of a tight chest
as the flowers fade away to die one by one
weeping rays of a worn out summer sun
10/11-09
H1n1
the swine flu
is out to get you
hit you fast as lightning
quite frightening
symptoms clear
people fear
you cannot hide away
it is here to stay
protection cure
body to endure
today a threat
not better yet
human need
news feed
Earth will still stand
under our creator's hand
future bright ahead
nothing more to dread
11/11-09
Eternal dream
soothingly whispering into my ear
the words of passion I need to hear
imaginary pictures of love and dance
dreams embraced at every chance
hand in hand let us fly
across the sun drenched sky
rest our heads upon soft white cotton clouds
two souls outside of the human crowds
refreshing crisp air to rejuvenate
majestic scenarios to await
gliding along the most glorious rainbow
reflecting spectra with an enchanting glow
all life's sorrow disappearing in the distance
leaving an internal room of peaceful silence
come - let our journey last for all eternity
dive into the universe so beautiful and mighty
at night when the darkness wears its crown
all the stars around us creating a glistening gown
the moon spreading its wide halo of light
a vision haunting to the eye's delight
when the morning is here to take us home
in tormenting sadness I will feel all alone
oh dreams - please do not wait too long
return to sing to me your midnight song
11/11-09
Slavery
tears in a never ending river
I sit here and shiver
once a fighter brave
now a life's slave
get me out of here
away from all the fear
13/11-09
The constant rerun of a day in pain
so now I will tell you
what it is like to walk in my shoe
with blisters and bleeding feet
a new but still old day to meet
always the same you see
trapped with no key
locked up in a sound proof prison cell
does not matter how hard I yell
concrete walls surrounding my pathetic creation
thick darkness provides no revelation
you know it is all wrong
a complete disaster made out of a sad song
once upon a time a candle was burning
now it is only a series of nights with tossing and turning
my own flesh and blood in deep turmoil
all I ever try leaves me crawling in the dirty soil
love is not enough this time
so where is that supposed life's chime
as I go to bed far too late
I dread the tomorrow with another overloaded plate
if only tranquility was my beloved friend
then I would sleep in calmness until the night's end
drained I force my body to stand up and go downstairs
ready to dig into today's unwanted affairs
a haunting rerun known to my reluctant mind
playing once again after a repeated reverse and rewind
stop the tape!
let me escape!
is it really too much to ask?
...in silence I continue with the next task
19/11-09
Humbly
please let your power descend to enter my soul
give me the means to reach every goal
my hand I give to you before your eyes
please hold it tight beneath your mighty skies
I know you can feel my desperation as if it was your own
I keep calling out your name pleading never to be left alone
when the rain is pouring day by day
your warmth is there to embrace and show me the way
I beg of you to save the love made of flesh and blood
provide nourishment to this young and fragile leaf bud
3/12-09
The Unbreakable Bond
invisibly touching like the wind kissing the clouds
a sunrise in hiding seen only by those who believe
ocean waves crashing against the rocky shore
wild and passionately forcing only to once again return to the sea
an encounter lasting yet a split moment in time
foul weather fading the hope of a final unition
they meet... and they part
nature's power will not be defeated
they meet... and they part
united for eternity
8/12-09
Status: Blank
white paper
no ink
or fingerprints
silent transparency
still on the table
hours become days
nothing
empty
but completely full
brain in static mode
automatically beating heart
mechanical living
9/12-09
How????????????
how do you leave your child
without your mind going wild
how do you breathe
through clenched teeth
how do you keep on going
without showing
how do you accept
the fact that they have slept
how do you see yourself through
when there is nothing more you can do
??????????????????
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10/12-09
Thrown out to space
where is life's delight?
I give up this fight!
slapped in the face
thrown out to space
in this black hole I now live
with nothing more to give
darkness all around
feet never to touch the ground
empty without light and shining stars
waiting with a mind carrying scars
sucked into a circle of uncertainty
unable to return to the laws of gravity
14/12-09
Escape in numbness
close my ears
plug them not to hear
can't stand the every day noise
cover my eyes
blind them not to see
can't endure the gray in colours
block my aorta
seal the chambers to emptiness
can't fight with a bleeding heart
26/12-09
Copyright © 2010 N.M.
