Merciless
to know and yet not being able to do anything
to feel and still not have the tools to cut that ring
circles of pain, misery and many tears
eyes tired and brain overloaded with fears
to know a soul in the very darkest hour
wanting to give of your own power
hands tied behind back - unable to reach out
stuck in torment - wanting to shout
holding close to heart the one standing by your side
feeling so small - viewing a merciless on-going ride
14/11-07
Your rainbow
the sun might seem to have lost its glow
but look up - because soon you will see the rainbow
times will not always be like yesterday and tomorrow
one day the light drops of refreshing rain will wipe away your sorrow
so keep the faith in your own will to keep on walking
and listen to those who compassionate words to you are talking
the pain will be buried deep down into the soil
inside of you - once again - happiness will begin to boil
14/11-07
To not be
to not be
is not to be free
life is in your hand
even the days when you don't understand
the beauty in life is before your eyes
let it help you through your cries
to not be
is not to be free
15/11-07
the voices
and noises
will in time fade away
beautiful melodies will come to stay
hurt and pain in days of tears
haunting memories creating enormous fears
keep breathing and soon you will be surprised
how the tormenting emotions will be downsized
search your way on this path you're walking
close your brain to the distant voices talking
not an easy task- I know
still I have deep faith in you standing up again after every rough blow
because you are so much more than you think my dear
with a brilliant fighting spirit and a sword sharp and clear
you will defeat the creatures from history's cruel days
to feel freedom building up inside of your veins as you view the return of the sun's rays
19/11-07
Done
I sit in frozen position longing for your embrace
all I get is the tormenting feeling of my own disgrace
no more mask with a faked laughter
I don't even know what it is I'm after
a day without agony and confusion
a morning of shouting out a love resolution
tired of fighting to continue creating this B movie
as I not at all in any way - feel groovy
today I cannot look into your eyes
not even answer to your questions as my thoughts flies
away out through the window glass
to fade away like the sun burnt grass
let go of me - because can't you see?!
my being is destructive- so leave me be!
20/11-07
I am the one I am
as I walk on this Earth
I seem to do things wrong
why can't you see I'm not that strong?
you push me around - using my feelings
why can't you see?!
I'm only little me
no one can ever own my being
my entire soul is mine
if you don't want to embrace the one I am
looking for another me
then please don't misuse my heart
let go
25/11-07
Words
delete words... but never ever will they cease to exist
because they are glowing through the thick mist
to know is to keep walking
although distant voices... might go on talking
sharp edges on letters and dots
creating hurtful plots
the heart of the one hurting is still intact
stronger yes sparkling in fact
5/12-07
From a distance
through the words I cannot find
the truth that lies behind
not even to view the past in the mirror glass
only here to let the time pass
thinking about thinking
as my being is sinking
deep deep down
my face in a frown
hang on to the things you know
how...? when you only feel blow after blow
disgraced by my own existence
watching my own crying heart from a far away distance
changes... I wish they were good
no... I don't even recognize my own mind's neighbourhood
wandering astray on the cobblestone pavement
drinking the rain dripping from my upper lip as I smell the scent
the air of roses and summer days
fooled by a heart longing to find its ways
a strong wind wakes me up from this short dream
standing all alone under the street light's beam
bare feet in the December rain
with a numbness in pain
where am I?
why cry?
walking beside my own creation
lost and searching for my own revelation
5/12-07
No more hiding
trust in me when your tears are falling
listen to my voice as I am calling
your name is on my tongue
your air is in my lung
life in its own glow
beneath the clouds in the sky we will together grow
walking side by side
feel no fear no need to hide
because my love - I would carry you
wounded and without strength with bruises blue
from one end of the Earth to the other
breathe with you when sorrow is out to smother
have faith in the one standing before your eyes
yes... I can hear your internal cries
my hand is ready to hold yours
take it... and wander together with me through the locked doors
10/12-07
When
when you cry
I cry with you
when you laugh
I do it too
when you talk
I listen
when you fall
I lift you up
when the rough wind is blowing
I hold you close to my soul
when you feel alone
I embrace your heart
when love is alive
I feel it and so do you
10/12-07
Forgotten
ancient images on your retina
living ongoing silent movie
forgotten with history's news
stumbled over in midwinter time
lying answers put to ground
only the heart knows the forgotten
11/12-07
Please do not fool me…
tears dripping from my nose
please hold me close
do not try to explain
why I am in so much pain
I do not need logic and sense
behind this barbed wire fence
a hand a hug and a kiss
that is what I miss
sympathy and love - please will you give it to me
cry my tears with me and see
the woman behind the painted picture
realise - there are much more behind this colour mixture
please take of your valuable time to get to know me from the inside
because I am tired of having to hide
close your eyes and feel with your hand
how my heart is beating for you to understand
you can count on me when the rough wind is about to force you down to the cold hard ground
in an instant I would be there to grab a hold of your hand - take you to a place to feel safe and sound
there is one more thing I would like to ask of you
to always talk words that are true
I have been hurt far too much through out the years
wounded at heart by many fears
please tell me I can trust in you to be honest and sincere
if so - I will give you an answer ever so clear
I will be devoted to you
yes that is true
14/12-07
Behind my name
if you could read my mind
I wonder what you would find
a woman in thoughts all day long
combined into a tragic song
emotions building up high towers
a river of dreams watering love's flowers
the sound of a crying girl with a guitar in her hand
searching on steel strings to create a tune for others to understand
viewing as well as hearing the truth behind her name
to ease her burden and throw away the sense of blame
15/12-07
Your choice
love and honesty walking hand in hand
if not - we would get lost in a foreign land
one single moment in time
can wipe out all the chime
to know yourself enough to stand up for what you believe in
this is the only true way to win
keep in your hand - the heart of the one you hold close
viewing love as it grows into the most magnificent red rose
sometimes the feet wants to take the wrong turn
remember your mistakes - listen and learn
who would like to carry around a heavy burden… because of one tiny moment in time
an action building up drowning waves - like a man committing a crime?
16/12-07
I've had it!
it does not feel right
still I have to fight
do what does not feel good
trying to cover my face with my hood
inside I feel sick
like only a brick
in this imperfect game
as I wander around feeling shame
my heart knows it all
its loving call
my brain thinks both right and wrong
as I try to hang on
the centrifugal force
shows no remorse
as it keep on throwing me around and around
until I hit the ground
I want out of this limbo dance
because I do not stand a chance
17/12-07
Poetry 2007
Copyright © N.M.
